God hates Lily Tomlin

I’m in England for a few days, enjoying the drizzle and the best that UKTV has to offer. Bit of a glut last night, as I moved from Emmerdale to a programme about a house so dirty the most hygienic niche was to be found inside the cage of a rat. This was followed by Embarrassing Illnesses (slightly disappointing after the exhilarating haemorrhoids of the first episode – a penile spot, heavy periods, cystitis: embarrassing seems to equate with weary regularity to the genital area, although there was an epic case of athlete’s foot and an armpit boil so deep it swallowed half a q-tip). Thirty minutes of Big Brother, yawn, followed by half an hour of one of those holiday from hell things. By this point, I’m working through the six sudokus offered by my mother’s paper and waiting for a promising documentary about the God Hates Fags gang from Topeka. (You know, the ones who picket the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq, with placards saying they deserved to die, surrounded by shocked but fawning cameras jostling for a shot.)

These people (essentially an extended family and six imported loonies) have the terrible logic of most convinced interpreters of revealed truth, which is as near madness as matters. They’re obsessed by rimming, though they prefer to call it ‘eating faeces’. Fags (sic) eat faeces and there are fags in the army. American soldiers are dying in Iraq. Ergo America is doomed. It isn’t logical, but logic isn’t the issue here. They have placards that run the whole gamut of fag-hating delirium, attacking everyone from Lily Tomlin to Elton John: their preferred victims are media figures (as they are), though they’re not averse to picketing a local hairdresser, who stubbornly refuses to repent. I’d rather be Elton than him, despite a local radio person assuring Keith Allen – whose documentary this is - that no one pays them much mind.

Hmm. The problem is that Keith Allen can’t argue and these people can. It’s rather like watching a fifth former trying to hoist the petard of his history master. It isn’t a question of who’s right, but of who’s competent, and seeing Allen repeating ‘fool’ like a mantra to someone who deserves a thorough trouncing at a slightly higher level (i.e. of argument) is simply depressing. The best thing, clearly, is to ignore these people, whose nuisance value far outweighs their significance. If we can’t do that, at least let’s send an interlocutor who can wipe the floor with their medieval nonsense. In other words - Christopher Hitchens, where are you when we need you?

Elton update

Despite efforts to have him banned from a country in which homosexuality is widely condemned, Elton John insists that he will be performing at Plymouth Jazz Festival. But local church leaders haven't given up. ABC News said:

"A group of Christian churches have failed to persuade the Tobago House of Assembly, which oversees the administration of the island, to join the call for a boycott of John's appearance at the Plymouth Jazz Festival in late April.

But they said they would pursue the campaign against John, who married his partner David Furnish in 2005.

"We feel it can have a negative social impact. There are some who may not be sure of their sexuality and one has to be careful about how this can create impressions on impressionable minds," pastor Terrance Baynes told Reuters.

It's interesting to see the words used by "Eggs" Benedict to praise the church of Trinidad and Tobago recently, when greeting the island state's new ambassador to the Holy See.

"As Your Excellency has graciously noted, the Catholic Church in Trinidad and Tobago works zealously in the area of human promotion. The network of Catholic schools, hospitals and social service institutions testifies to the cooperative spirit of the Catholic faithful in providing a better future for themselves and their fellow–citizens. Because of their profound conviction regarding the universal brotherhood of all men and women as God’s beloved children, Catholics and other believers are committed to fostering the common good in the context of a healthy and legitimate pride in their own country."

Presumably these believers include Archdeacon Philip Isaac, who called for a ban on the chubby chanteur and warned: "His visit can open the country to be tempted towards pursuing his lifestyle. He needs to be ministered to."

Not to speak of the local branch of the catholic non-governmental organization Caritas , accused of denying its caritas to gays.

Elton speaks out

Threatened by homophobes in Tobago, Elton John has been saying some important things recently. You can find out more in this article from today's Independent, but I'd like to draw your attention to this bit:

Mr Hernandez has publicly accused a congressman from the opposition Christian Democratic Party, Robert Parker, who is the main champion of the amendment proposal, of fomenting new violence against homosexuals.

He has also laid blame on the Catholic Church, noting that the Bishop of El Salvador, Monsignor Saenz Lacalle, has referred to gay people as "sick" and "perverted". He claims that the Catholic charity Caritas has a policy of not extending a hand of help to anyone in El Salvador who is homosexual.

Is this true? Maybe someone who knows how Caritas operates here in Italy can shed some light on the matter?

And if you'd like to know more about the courageous Mr Hernandez and many others like him, click on Doug Ireland's wonderful blog, Direland.

Follow the yellow brick road, but not to Tobago

This comes from popbitch and seems an appropriate appendix to the previous post:

Next month's Plymouth Jazz Festival in Tobago features a headline appearance by Elton John. Not all islanders approve. Breakfast TV show Rise & Shine this week had a phone-in about Elton. Presenters refused to condemn a caller who thought Elton should be subjected to earthly hellfire for his "poisonous" lifestyle, while another asked, "Is it your understanding that he is planning a hideous nude gay orgy on stage or in private during his visit?" Callers complaining about the homophobia were told: "Opinions are like noses, everyone has one."

Now a Tobago lawyer has unearthed a section of the Trinidad and Tobago immigration code which bans self-professed homosexuals from entering the country, and a Church crusade is underway to try and make the government enforce it. Music fans on the island are hoping Elton manages to get through this gauntlet of hate...they say they'd rather LL Cool was banned from the jazz festival instead.