Knock, knock, who's there?

Never heard of Sylvia Browne? I hadn't either before I read this article by Jon Ronson in today's Guardian Unlimited. Apparently, she's the most famous psychic in the United States. If you'd like to ask her a question about, say, your missing cat or why your boyfriend killed himself you can pay $750 and wait four years for a 30-minute telephone consultation. Alternatively, pay €4000 and go on a cruise, where she might just pull your name out of a hat during one of her lectures. This is the kind of in-depth information you're likely to get:

"Am I ever going to have a better relationship with my father?" another woman asks.

"No," Sylvia replies. "He's narcissistic. He has sociopathic tendencies. Forget it. There's a darkness there."

"Thank you, Sylvia," she says.

Sylvia seems to be psychically diagnosing a lot of people with narcissistic personality disorder today.

"Will you tell me exactly the time and place my father died?" the next woman asks.

"Ten years ago in Iowa," Sylvia says.

"Iowa?" says the woman, surprised.

"I'm the psychic," Sylvia snaps. "I'm telling you. Iowa."

"Thank you, Sylvia," the woman says, cowed.

The next woman asks, "What happened to my dog? Is she still alive?"

"No, honey," Sylvia says.

The woman bursts into tears.

Read the whole thing. It's worth it. And if you'd like to buy one of the old fraud's inspirational books (titles include: Christmas in Heaven, Animals on the Other Side and, for only $14.95, God, Creation and Tools for Life), just click here.