Not waving, but drowning using Tyla's connection...

I'm trapped in a broadband challenged hell. It's so easy to invoke Kafka when a couple of things go wrong, so I won't (Oh, I have...) but I've spent the past two weeks battling with phone problems: no landline, no ADSL, no patience, if you want to hear of our new offers press 3, if you want to murder a person in a call centre press 6, etc. There's no end to this in sight (i.e. I've been promised 'tomorrow' on five consecutive occasions, and I'll be going on holiday quite soon and may not get a chance to resume normal service before I do. But please don't abandon me! I promise I'll be back in a week or so. And in the meantime I might surprise you...