Tags (2)

I've been tagged with the same task by two people, which suggests that the growth of a meme may not be exponential at all, but whatever the opposite of exponential is. In other words, the circle might get smaller and smaller until finally only I'm left. What a horrifying prospect. The taggers (and I'm honoured by their attention) are Linda Grant and Simon Barraclough. They've asked me to list six random facts about myself and then pass the task on to six other bloggers. Well, the first part is easier than the second. So let's start with that.

1. When I was a child I thought the word 'unyet' existed and was slapped for answering back when Mrs Fletcher, my teacher, told me it didn't. The primary school was so small we used to watch schools programmes on the TV in her living room, sitting in a circle on the floor with her Aberdeen terrier on the sofa behind us.

2. I have bags of second-hand clothes I've never even opened. (This random fact is being recycled from an earlier tagging exercise - I suspected it was, and checked. Why should it matter so much? A nod to Linda?)

3. I was once described as 'a small bearded man with one earring' by the Cambridge Evening News.

4. I have a genuine Roman tessera round my neck, made of blue glass and found in our garden beneath the big lemon tree. There's a display case in a nearby museum (in Sperlonga) in which hundreds of similar tesserae have been tipped, like Spangles, so it's precious but not that precious. It makes me wonder, though, what else there might be in the garden.

5. I'm currently editing a report on the control of the Armenian vole.

6. I was given a ride as a child in the Rolls Royce Silver Shadow used by Charlie Drake at a Royal Variety Performance. I'm not interested in cars now, and I wasn't then, so the reason I remember this must have something to do with Charlie Drake. I'd rather not think any more about this.

Now comes the hard part. I feel that I'm exhausting my tagging credit, but I'll give it a go.

Erin O'Brien

Kay Sexton

This should be Vanessa Gebbie, but she's declared herself a meme-free zone. How wise! But I can't think of anyone else....

Rachael King

Tyla Tingle

Elizabeth Baines (who tagged me some months back with a very similar meme: revenge is a dish best eaten cold!)

Tags

Ouch! I've been tagged, twice (and I'll be getting to yours, Simon, but you'll have to admit that this one is, well, less demanding). This post is a response to Elizabeth Baines' tag from a few days ago. These are the instructions:

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.

It's slightly embarrassing because the nearest book to my computer just happens to be my own novel. Believe me when I say that this is less a measure of my self-obsession than of a general state of disorder. Most books in my study are piled on the table behind me. Little Monsters, for some reason I can't remember now, just happens to be lying beneath a pile of FAO reports I'm trying to work on. So:

The Turks who need help are standing near the window: a young couple with a girl, three or four years old, who clings to her father, pulling his jacket, too large for him, off his shoulder. they look hot: they are wearing far too many clothes for this time of year - it's still humid out and has barely begun to cool towards autumn. When Flavio gestures to him, the man speaks, in broken English, while the woman and child step back, and listen.

However, as maybe my own book doesn't really count, I'll reach a little further and take the second nearest as well. And it's Words from a Glass Bubble by Vanessa Gebbie, which I still haven't started reading, and am looking forward to very much. So, I open it at page 123 and what do I find?

I wanted to leave you, she said. So many times.
Bren looked at him in their kitchen and named them; the men she would have left him for.

That ought to whet your appetite; it's certainly whetted mine. Unfortunately, I can't tag Vanessa, because Elizabeth already has, so here are my five:

Chancelucky

David Isaak

Kay Sexton

Linda Grant

Simon Barraclough

Go for it!

Tagged...

...not electronically though I may deserve it, but by Elizabeth Baines. See her post, explaining the set up, here. Briefly, I have to share eight random and/or embarrassing facts and/or moments about myself with you, then tag eight more people to do the same thing. It's a sort of pyramid shaming device, which looks as though it might be quite good fun, though I'd always thought that writing fiction was the most efficient way of broadcasting this kind of information. (See the details on cruising in Rome in my story in NW15 for proof of this.) Still, I'm ready to give it a go, a little later than promised. Here are the instructions:

"Each player starts with eight random facts/habits or embarrassing things about themselves. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog."

Here goes:

1. On particularly hot days, particularly when I'm invigilating exams, my Birkenstock sandals fart.

2. I was once arrested for stealing a milk bottle (full) from a step. The fine was £6 plus the cost of a bottle of gold top. I later used the summons to make a very badly-rolled joint.

3. I have bags full of second-hand clothes in my wardrobe, bought at the local Sunday market and never worn or, indeed, looked at a second time. I must throw them out.

4. I can't bear Joseph Conrad.

5. As a student I once said that I really liked Heinz spaghetti with lots of grated cheese in it, claiming that it was as good as 'the real thing', which I'd never actually eaten. I recklessly offered to prepare it for a bunch of friends, who said yes. I'll never forget the sinking feeling as I dished it out from the pan. One of them, now famous and a bit of a foodie, has had the generosity never to mention this. (He may have forgotten.)

6. Rings make my fingers look infantile.

7. I was deflowered by a man of the cloth.

8. When I was nineteen I turned down an offer from Lawrence Ferlinghetti himself to work at City Lights Bookshop. I've never regretted it.

I'm not sure I can think of eight people. Let's see.

David Isaak
Kay Sexton
Chancelucky
Vanessa Gebbie

No, I can't. That's it. But I'll keep on thinking.