The Honourable Maurizio Ronconi, deputy for the UDC, just can't stomach the victory of Vladimir Luxuria on Isola dei Famosi (more information about this can be found here). He says it's 'simply scandalous' that state television should transform a transsexual into a national heroine. Rather worryingly for a man who's been elected to parliament in a country that still claims to be a democracy, he doesn't seem to have grasped the basic democratic notion that the person who gets the most votes gets the bacon. Even if he or she is an unsuitable model for young people, as Ronconi claims. So listen up, Maurizio. It wasn't the naughty old disrespectful diseducational RAI that chose Vladimir, it was 56% of the voters who chose to invest a euro in choosing who'd win, whether or not they also pay their TV licence. This is how democracy works in the real world, Ronky, whatever might happen in the corridors of the UDC, so get used to it. One day you might also be exposed to a genuine popular vote. I can't wait.Sunday, 30 November 2008
Lessons in democracy
The Honourable Maurizio Ronconi, deputy for the UDC, just can't stomach the victory of Vladimir Luxuria on Isola dei Famosi (more information about this can be found here). He says it's 'simply scandalous' that state television should transform a transsexual into a national heroine. Rather worryingly for a man who's been elected to parliament in a country that still claims to be a democracy, he doesn't seem to have grasped the basic democratic notion that the person who gets the most votes gets the bacon. Even if he or she is an unsuitable model for young people, as Ronconi claims. So listen up, Maurizio. It wasn't the naughty old disrespectful diseducational RAI that chose Vladimir, it was 56% of the voters who chose to invest a euro in choosing who'd win, whether or not they also pay their TV licence. This is how democracy works in the real world, Ronky, whatever might happen in the corridors of the UDC, so get used to it. One day you might also be exposed to a genuine popular vote. I can't wait.Saturday, 29 November 2008
The merest whiff
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
What I'd like to do to Berlusconi (while we still can)
The dark side
I'm not sure how much of this, from today's NYT, I understand, but it certainly feels exciting. Here's an extract:A concatenation of puzzling results from an alphabet soup of satellites and experiments has led a growing number of astronomers and physicists to suspect that they are getting signals from a shadow universe of dark matter that makes up a quarter of creation but has eluded direct detection until now.
Maybe.
Richer and stranger...
Don't miss the third leg of my Something Rich and Strange virtual book tour, at Scott Pack's essential blog, Me and My Big Mouth. I'm answering questions on order, sequence and, well, order again, which makes it sound a lot drier than it is. It's actually quite lively. Go and have a look and you'll see what I mean. And if you have any questions, please leave a comment and I'll get right back to you...
Stop press: Luxuria wins IdF
Well, it's not Obama, but I'm happy to report that Italy's most famous transgender politician-cum-actor-cum-a-host-of-other-things, Vladimir Luxuria, has just won the Italian version of I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, known here as Isola dei Famosi (Island of the Famous). It's less creepy-crawly than the UK version, but lasts ten weeks instead of three, requiring massive patience from both its public and the participants. Vladimir's victory over a strikingly attractive 24-year-old Argentinian called Belen Rodriguez, who may be famous now but certainly wasn't when the programme started almost three months ago, is a sign that in Italy, unlike many other countries, the people are way ahead of the politicians that represent them. Voting for Martina Navratilova or even Brian Paddick is one thing. Voting for a pre-op transsexual who's admitted to a period on the game, transformed a coconut shell into a makeshift handbag and represented Communist Refoundation in parliament is, I think you'll agree, another. Monday, 24 November 2008
A maid looking through the keyhole
The film caused a huge scandal when it came out, and narrowly avoided being banned. At the premiere, one outraged signora spat in the director's face. "We were furious with him," says Olghina, "because it wasn't a decadent city. Fellini, who comes from Rimini, based the film on gossip. He wasn't yet part of the city's life – he was like a maid looking through the keyhole." Yet no one denies that Fellini crystallised an amazing vision of Rome.
So long as men can breathe
I’ve just finished Warwick Collins’ new novel, The Sonnets, which draws its inspiration from Shakespeare’s sonnet sequence and the circumstances in which it was written. It’s a brave man who decides to narrate an episode from Shakespeare’s life in the first person - who opts, in other words, to impersonate the man himself - and an even braver one who pens a couple of extra sonnets at crucial moments in the narrative, but Collins pulls off the first with considerable elegance and skill, and the second by the skin of his teeth, which is, as Collins himself acknowledges, only natural. Shakespeare wouldn't be Shakespeare if he didn't, finally, resist imitation.Sunday, 23 November 2008
Hormonal communism
Still a Communist party member, Saramago describes himself as a "hormonal communist - just as there's a hormone that makes my beard grow every day. I don't make excuses for what communist regimes have done - the church has done a lot of wrong things, burning people at the stake. But I have the right to keep my ideas. I've found nothing better." Yet he did write in 2003 that, after years of personal friendship with Fidel Castro, the Cuban leader "has lost my confidence, damaged my hopes, cheated my dreams". In Reis's view, "Saramago lives his communism mostly as a spiritual condition - philosophical and moral. He doesn't preach communism in his novels." His fable of consumerism and control in a globalised culture, The Cave (2001), shows the focus of life shifting from cathedral to shopping mall. But for Jull Costa, its strength is in his "writing so humanely about ordinary people and their predicaments".
Saturday, 22 November 2008
Scent of Cinnamon launch





Well, after a heated Facebook debate on what to wear, I decided to do sober but casual, as befits the Aula Magna Regina of John Cabot University. Carlos Dews, writer, friend and professor of English Language and Literature at JCU, presented me with his customary charm and generosity, and then it was over to me. I read The Scent of Cinnamon and The Growing, then answered questions about influences, surprise endings and, er, dogs. Books were sold, and signed, and I had the pleasure of seeing old friends and making new ones. I can't wait for the next one. This is a large, shamelessly unveiled hint to anyone who might have a venue and some spare bottles of wine. I'm your man. I also do weddings... (Though not, alas, in California.)
Thursday, 20 November 2008
People who look like you
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
Incoherence and the market
According to tonight's news, pirated copies of Gomorrah, the prize-winning film based on Saviano's exposure of the Camorra, the organised crime network in the area around Naples and beyond, are being sold, in cellophane wraps and with falsified government seals, by the Camorra in the area around Naples. Saviano, in the meantime, is in the deeply ironic position of hovering on the brink of an Oscar nomination while risking his life on a daily basis, threatened with death for having brought shame on - and attracted media attention to - the Camorra. In the area around Naples. And beyond.
Bra business
Scent of Cinnamon: Review
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
...and up....
The second stage of SOMETHING RICH AND STRANGE, my virtual tour to celebrate the publication by Salt of my short story collection The Scent of Cinnamon, has just been hosted by the writer and blogger extraordinaire Kay Sexton. You can find it here. Kay asked me some pretty challenging questions about... well, you'll just have to go and see...Tuesday, 11 November 2008
And we're off...!
I'd like to draw your attention to Elizabeth Baines' blog today. For two reasons. Well three, actually. The first is that - unsurprisingly - it's one of the most stimulating blogs around, with a care and attention to what reading and writing are really concerned with that's unrivalled. But you already know that. The second is that she has officially kicked off the Something Rich and Strange virtual book tour, in which ten illustrious bloggers interview me about different aspects of my new collection of stories The Scent of Cinnamon and Other Stories.
Salt Publishing is not only an extraordinary, and extraordinarily ongoing, act of courage and faith in both writers and readers, it's also a hotbed of brilliant ideas for making sure that books get into the right hands. The latest, Cyclone, the "home of virtual book tours", recognises the immense power of the web and of literary blogging and has harnessed that power to promote its publications. Tania Hershman's wonderful collection, Walking the White Road, is currently on tour, and I'm travelling, humbly, in her wake. Elizabeth's interview with me will be followed in a week's time by Kay Sexton's, at Writing Neuroses, in which I'll be talking about, among other things, ghosts, Look out for it.Monday, 10 November 2008
Mammon, Mormon
Recursion
This great photograph accompanies an article in today's Guardian about the ex-missionary and linguist, Daniel Everett, and his experiences with an Amazonian tribe, as a result of which he's had probelms not only with God, and his family, but also with Chomsky. It's a fascinating article, whether you're interested in God or Chomsky - united, if nowhere else, by their notions of universality - and Everett's book looks well worth reading too.Saturday, 8 November 2008
In the stump of the old tree

I've just come across a Guardian blogpost by Billy Mills about the pleasure of discovering little-known writers, in which he mentions Hugh Sykes Davies, pictured above in the grounds of St John's, Cambridge, where he taught. Like Billy, I first came across Sykes Davies in the Penguin anthology of Forties poetry, where, as a teenager, I fell in love with his wonderful, creepy poem, beginning In the stump of the old tree...
His role model was a cab driver he had once fished with whose previous job had been in a circus, riding a motorbike on the Wall of Death, until he started to have blackouts and had to give it up. ‘You can’t have blackouts on the Wall of Death: besides, I had a lioness in the sidecar.’
Marriage, shmarriage
Thursday, 6 November 2008
Knowledgeability
New day
THE GOLDEN FLEECE
HERCULES
1
Apples. Bread. Wine. And the camps
are the least accidental features
of a foreign landscape. No sweat
or, at least, the temple is what’s
sliding like greased lightning on
the waves, who are silent as if they
could not even be arsed. But I want
to know. The white flare of his
buttocks disappearing in the water.
He might as well come back gold
as be dead or living in No Place I
can muscle into, as fast as a rat
shoots off into its own space,
letting the bulky air thrust out,
taking its illness out to the stars.
O lyric density! O blindness!
Impossible fruit in the dank soil.
We just drop it in and pull it up,
surprised at the effervescence of
spring water, and the clean bright
buckets that surround us, pitched
in the well, pulled up and drained.
2
The density of a muscled travelogue
or a worksheet. I want to know
what gives when we are all
descended from gods. As for that,
the creation of a nervous system
should cast a new, more viable
taxonomy into their mountain
home. Crab apples upset the baskets
and the entire market’s in a holy
uproar as though it hadn’t bargained
with theft already, as though my
strength were not the dirtiest
sympathy it would ever know. I’m
no more clever than the man I
left with the whole fucking world
on his shoulders. Its bright
striped canopies where gods sleep,
a pouchful of their still profiles.
3
Raiding parties. The mystery is
that I happen so often among them
and do nothing but act the fool
as though I were being paid
by someone else, my ghostly
brother, the merchant. Raids on
the blanketing and divine air
that starts at the groin, flows
up, and out. I want to know if
your prick can lift a man as high
as that wave can deceive the
temple’s grip on our sopping wet
earth. By the breakers, an army
is wondering if to set up camp
is like cracking a fertilised
egg into a jug. I say it is,
and start as fine blades start
from my follicles and (the moon
is high) break wind into a fist
and breathe (the sea is high)
and take off. I’m talking about
the real world. Labour. Raiding
parties on the chick’s sticky yolk.
4
As love shoves its fingers up
the cute boy’s nostrils I work
the dank groundsheet from under
his sweating rump, the silky
bundles of sequestered jewels,
and a tube of surgical jelly
squelches between my fingers,
a cross between light itself
and its passionate entry. All
credit for that. Strictly,
nothing can be had for nothing
is how I’d explain it to Mr
Atlas and his million disciples.
But it’s ecstasy, and how it
bubbles into muscle becoming
spirit! The effort of spirit
to work it loose enough to
enter’s a neat question about
theft, darkness, the market,
the loved one dragged under
by compliant hands, the rush
of blood, the chartered world
on those aching shoulders. I
bite, weave, break on the ride.
5
Legless, the bloodied, rescinded
quest held up against a small
and glittering unit that reels
around the campsite, talking of
the work it has to do. It traces
its life from the hand and into
the vein as a picaresque reverse.
By the splash and drip of blood
I shall be known. The red curl
of the foetus, comma, a grammar
easing its shoulders between the
hard polished surfaces where a
god resides, smiling at nothing
as, easily, I drag the temple
into the shell, stunned by that
slipstream of gold that shimmies
out. Buckets. A count of 100 and
I surface, gritty eyes and empty
arms, unweighted and blind.
ORPHEUS
1
A creamy mallow light and me, crouching, calves and thighs together like the two halves of a clam. How things occupy themselves! in spite of our wearily fixated loves.
2
The first half of coincidence is a turned-up ace. Three more aces in the pack and everything down to luck.
The elegiac number, one.
3
Down here, at Mission Control, I’m expecting a call from my wife.
4
Embarrassed by loneliness I ransack a city for images of the single life. The wailing of all those cows with distended udders in the meadows of the known world. I shall circle the city with their stripped hide? That one’s been used.
5
Inside the clam is edible. I begin to yield. Somewhere another hungry clam will eat me, then I’ll eat him. I’m not as popular in my peer group as I used to be. I’ll have to find another gang of do-nothing creeps. The single life
Brr-brr Biberkopf.
6
One way of not doing things. The light so opaque you can’t see out. Inside a small room a smaller room. Hello. At last - I seem to have found someone to listen to me.
CHRYSOMALLUS
1
The foreground’s filth is bleeding.
I think my mother is a loaf of bread.
The magic is in the dispersal.
It destroys the distance between places.
All of the pieces were buried together.
I think hysteria makes bones and meat.
I think my mother is a loaf of bread.
The leaves are beckoning the wind.
The magic is in the dispersal.
The foreground’s filth is bleeding.
I think my mother is a loaf of bread.
I think hysteria makes bones and meat.
2
They put down the box in the meadow
and taproots around it cried
Mirror, tell me your name.
From the dark heart of the cream
the handmaiden beats a necklace
and I am priceless.
Each object must tell its own
story and be damned
Mirror, tell me your name.
Break out in the chatter of glades
and heave me across your back
and I am priceless.
3
I think hysteria makes bones and meat
imitate a god.
JASON 2
1
With my address tattooed on my collarbone I’m a stranger to my body. Indian ink is blue. It settles in waves through which my own blood weaves. Its own red fades and when I want to go home I shall be blocked. Not by a dam, but by a channel through which the flow is graduated and the wheels made to turn. I could watch them all day.
2
When I came back with trophies I let them speak for themselves, recording devices built into their filaments. The king’s initial awe was rapidly tempered by scientific curiosity. The domes of the city were razed before they could fall.
3
Each sensation is exploratory now that confidence in touch is divorced from the fingers. The cry as the golden fleece is born away, involuntary and inarticulate, makes sense in spite of itself and its wary hoofed grandfather. It turns into a syllable and then a word. A new tongue is born out of petulance tented on pain, drawn fabric through which the whine of gnats can be heard.
4
And if I am thirsty shall I not steal from the steps of the Town Hall, the Observatory (my starry-eyed darling), the Ordnance Survey buildings? Now I’m reduced to knowledge those iguanas recognise my tread. Acres of flesh respond to its office as though our concern had been simple annotation. An object already there whose origin was mysterious. Il Mappamondo, large as the world.
Tuesday, 4 November 2008
Stick two
Stick
Derek Brewer
Monday, 3 November 2008
Chemical Acorn
I really like this. It comes from a blog called Upset Fruit Bowl, made by David Dingman, "a 19 year old kid living within the soggy depths of Michigan, in the United States."
Ditching the bitch
This time PD senator Paola "Mrs Doubtfire" Binetti (see two posts down) really does seem to have gone too far. Following her comment that homosexuals couldn't control their paedophilic instincts and were therefore disqualified from becoming priests, members of her centre-left party have called for her to be expelled. (Better late than never. If they'd done it two years ago we might, just might, have civil union legislation in place in Italy.) She's going to be hauled up before an internal commission tomorrow and asked to explain herself. 